This is a email I received from Mike a few days ago. He had just had his implant activated and tried it for the first time.
Jack, Hope this finds you doing well. Thank you for you blog it was very beneficial to me as I prepared and finally made the decision to get a AMS LGX implant. I made it through the surgery and recovery ok with little or no complications. There was one thing that I felt was a complication and that was one cylinder seems to be about 3/8" shorter than the other. This is the case whether the implant is inflated or deflated. The Doc agreed that one was shorter that the other and mumbled a word or two about possible causes but said it should not cause any problems. Now onto my sand concerns. The first "go around" at 6 weeks was very disappointing to both my wife and I. I had quiet a bit of uncomfort which bordered on pain and felt very little sensation. My wife didn't enjoy the act at all and she did not get much sensation either. To be honest it was a very big let down. Prior to this I have been inflating and deflating twice a day and initially felt pain and discomfort but had gotten over that. When I inflate I notice that things seem smaller that before surgery. Before I could get a erection 25 percent of time for a very brief period and. I was not surprise by the shorter length as I had read that this could be suspected. I do still have good blood flow to the glands which helps things look closer to normal. When inflated the erection looks fair but it is not as rigid as I thought it would be. Things are hard so to speak but just not rigid. I pump the bulb until it gets hard and can still make small pumps but am afraid to pump to much and damage something. I know I have given you a lot of info but I wanted give you enough details so you might could give me some advice. I guess my main question is the performance of the implant supposed to be like this at 6 weeks? Will things get better for the wife and I or is this it? I know there is a learning curve and I have read several places that sensation returns and things stretch out over the course of the next year. I hope this is the case. Thanks again for you blog and any advice you can give. Mike-
Hi Mike
First RELAX things you are experiencing are perfectly normal. Let me give you some pointers.
My left cylinder is 1cm shorter than the right, it is not a problem. Dr. Milam told me about it right after surgery he said it may have been from the urethra puncture by the first doctor or it could just be the way I am. I know a few men with severe peyronies that one cylinder is 3cm shorter than the other. It is not a problem for sex and over the next several months you will be the only one that knows it.
The first "go round" is not easy on either of you. Our first time I had to quit less than half way through because it hurt!!! It will get better each time you use it. Try 800mg (4 200mg pills)of ibuprofen about 30 minutes before you try again. Do Not take prescription pain meds because they will dull the sensations in your glans.
Yes we all are shorter after surgery until the LGX expands. A tip that works well is to put your wife's butt on a pillow and use a little astroglide. (With astroglide a little goes a long way.) This changes the angle of penetration just enough and makes for better penetration. Try shorter strokes for a while, just enough for a good feel in the glans.
It will get harder in the shaft. The glans takes a while. Just before penetration try to squeeze the pump a few times you may get a little more expansion. Do this for at least a year. Continue to inflate the implant twice a day for the first 18 months. I recommend holding for about 5 minutes then deflate. Do this about 3 or 4 times twice a day. This gets the implant expanding as soon as possible. YOU CAN NOT PUMP TOO MUCH AND DAMAGE SOMETHING!!! I still inflate mine at least once a day and it has been over 4 years. Dr. Milam said to "knock my self out" trying to damage it doing this.
You are doing just fine at 6 weeks. Complete healing and expansion takes up to 18 months so don't rush things. The last time I saw Dr. Milam he said he is now seeing men with expansion up to 3 years.
What else can I tell you. Just relax and don't push it. Keep on trying to have sex with the wife every few days. The more you try the sooner the soreness will work out. It is just like physical therapy for the penis. Don't forget to put a pillow under her butt, all the couples that try it stay with it even after the implant heals.
Anything else I can help with let me know.
Jack
Jack,
Thanks for your response. You don't know what burden you have lifted off of me. Getting the implant was the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak and the first time out it looked like my light had went out. I have spent the last few days thinking that I may have made one of the worst mistakes of my life. My wife's apparent disappointment did not do anything but add to my anxiety. Prior to the surgery I was able to get a decent erection with Viagra about 25 percent of the time but when I took enough to achieve this, I had some of the worst headaches I have ever experienced and it took me a day or two to get over it. I had did a a lot of research during the year before the surgery at which time I went through the unsuccessful tries with the pump and injections. So I knew a little of what to expect but I guess I had to high of expectations so early in the ball game. I am also relieved about learning the one cylinder being shorter than the other is normal. This has been a big concern of mine since I first discovered it as I thought it might mean I would have surgery to fix the problem. Thanks again I will rest much better tonight and I am sure I will have more questions for you as things progress. Keep up the blog, I don't know if you are fully aware how much a help it is to those who are considering or already have the implant. -Mike
PS ED and other problems that lead to an implant make it hard on a couples sex life. I would like to recommend a book. Intended for Pleasure by Dr.Ed Wheat. It held us and other couples through this trying time in our life. The last time I checked it was available at amazon.com.
Jackp
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Lee's Story
This is a message I received from Lee. He has quesions and concerns.
One thing he says about the differances in the Coloplast and the AMS LGX us regular size guys need to read it how the two feel different. For us men less than 7" this is from a man that has had both.
Jack
Good Morning Lee
After reading your message I had some concerns and sent a copy to Todd Doran at Vanderbilt for his opinion.
Let me go through your message and address my concerns and when I hear from Todd I will let you know what he says.
--- On Sat, 7/14/12, Leland Spring <> wrote:
From: Leland Spring <>
Subject: Penile Excercises
To: jwp104@att.net
Date: Saturday, July 14, 2012, 4:45 PM
Jack
I have very much enjoyed your posts in the blog. I e-mailed you a couple of weeks ago, I have had 4 implants done and am now recovering from # 4, surgery was on July 11, My uro has told me to start pumping. He said to pump it once a day for 15 minutes each day.
4 days seems real early to start inflating the implant to me.
He is not big on the AMS 700 implant, I don't know why he's not much of a talker.
He is probably old school and stuck on the old ways.
I had him install an AMS 700 LG .
Good for you!
Do you mind sharing who the doctor was and where he is at?
That is what I had the first time I had one and it was good for me, then I had a coloplast titan put in, two of them. Since my penis is less than 7 inches long it felt very stiff , not comfortable for my wife.
Thanks for letting me quote you. Todd and Dr. Milam have told me this but you are the first patient that has told me.
I would like to know if you could give me some more info, be more specific about the pumping you did when you first started pumping after surgery. My main concern is that I gather as much info as possible for the first three months post op so I do not miss any steps and insure my best chances for great success with this implant.
Was there any certain routine you followed as far as pumping was concerned?? Time, length of keeping implant fully pumped and how many times a day?? Did you do any special therapeutic exercises?
I am going to give you the entire routine at the end of this post, I am also attaching the AMS Double Handed Method of Inflation. The pump is very stiff until it is broken in. The key to starting the pump is to grasp the pump firmly and squeeze hard and quickly release this will activate the pump. I am also attaching a user's guide. Any questions let me know.
Any response that would help me be successful would be appreciated. If you would like to share this post feel free to do so.
Regards
Thank You
Lee
This is the inflation routine I used and was recommended by Dr. Milam and the staff at Vanderbilt.
You may only want to do this once a day for the first 6 weeks. After that do it twice a day. A hot shower or bath can also be helpful while doing the inflation.
Twice a day, every day for the first 18 months, inflate the implant for 15 minutes and hold it. Then every 3-4 minutes squeeze the pump a few times to help the ipp inflate to it's max. When you deflate the implant hold down the deflation button for about 6 seconds and then squeeze your penis from the head to the base a few times to get the fluid back to the reservoir. This will do a couple of things, give you a more natural flaccid look and make the implant easier to inflate the next time.
You should have been told to keep your penis up on your stomach for the first 6 weeks. This will help you heal straight and be less painful. I found that the Jockey Pouch Briefs did a great job helping. They have a special H cut that will help hold you up. I got mine at Macy's and Kohl's. I like them so well I still ware them and get them online at jockey.com They offer about the same support as a jock strap without the discomfort.
My concern for you,at this early stage, is pain and discomfort. If it is painful or very uncomfortable take 800mg of ibuprofen about 30 minutes before you inflate.
It takes the LGX up to 18 months to fully expand in length. (The last time I say Dr. Milam,last August, he said he is now seeing men with expansion up to 3 years.) You may not be happy with your size at first but do not despair. At 3 months post op you will see expansion, for me it was 1/2". Since my implant 10/08 I have gained back almost an inch and a half.
Anything else I can help with let me know.
Jack
One thing he says about the differances in the Coloplast and the AMS LGX us regular size guys need to read it how the two feel different. For us men less than 7" this is from a man that has had both.
Jack
Good Morning Lee
After reading your message I had some concerns and sent a copy to Todd Doran at Vanderbilt for his opinion.
Let me go through your message and address my concerns and when I hear from Todd I will let you know what he says.
--- On Sat, 7/14/12, Leland Spring <> wrote:
From: Leland Spring <>
Subject: Penile Excercises
To: jwp104@att.net
Date: Saturday, July 14, 2012, 4:45 PM
Jack
I have very much enjoyed your posts in the blog. I e-mailed you a couple of weeks ago, I have had 4 implants done and am now recovering from # 4, surgery was on July 11, My uro has told me to start pumping. He said to pump it once a day for 15 minutes each day.
4 days seems real early to start inflating the implant to me.
He is not big on the AMS 700 implant, I don't know why he's not much of a talker.
He is probably old school and stuck on the old ways.
I had him install an AMS 700 LG .
Good for you!
Do you mind sharing who the doctor was and where he is at?
That is what I had the first time I had one and it was good for me, then I had a coloplast titan put in, two of them. Since my penis is less than 7 inches long it felt very stiff , not comfortable for my wife.
Thanks for letting me quote you. Todd and Dr. Milam have told me this but you are the first patient that has told me.
I would like to know if you could give me some more info, be more specific about the pumping you did when you first started pumping after surgery. My main concern is that I gather as much info as possible for the first three months post op so I do not miss any steps and insure my best chances for great success with this implant.
Was there any certain routine you followed as far as pumping was concerned?? Time, length of keeping implant fully pumped and how many times a day?? Did you do any special therapeutic exercises?
I am going to give you the entire routine at the end of this post, I am also attaching the AMS Double Handed Method of Inflation. The pump is very stiff until it is broken in. The key to starting the pump is to grasp the pump firmly and squeeze hard and quickly release this will activate the pump. I am also attaching a user's guide. Any questions let me know.
Any response that would help me be successful would be appreciated. If you would like to share this post feel free to do so.
Regards
Thank You
Lee
This is the inflation routine I used and was recommended by Dr. Milam and the staff at Vanderbilt.
You may only want to do this once a day for the first 6 weeks. After that do it twice a day. A hot shower or bath can also be helpful while doing the inflation.
Twice a day, every day for the first 18 months, inflate the implant for 15 minutes and hold it. Then every 3-4 minutes squeeze the pump a few times to help the ipp inflate to it's max. When you deflate the implant hold down the deflation button for about 6 seconds and then squeeze your penis from the head to the base a few times to get the fluid back to the reservoir. This will do a couple of things, give you a more natural flaccid look and make the implant easier to inflate the next time.
You should have been told to keep your penis up on your stomach for the first 6 weeks. This will help you heal straight and be less painful. I found that the Jockey Pouch Briefs did a great job helping. They have a special H cut that will help hold you up. I got mine at Macy's and Kohl's. I like them so well I still ware them and get them online at jockey.com They offer about the same support as a jock strap without the discomfort.
My concern for you,at this early stage, is pain and discomfort. If it is painful or very uncomfortable take 800mg of ibuprofen about 30 minutes before you inflate.
It takes the LGX up to 18 months to fully expand in length. (The last time I say Dr. Milam,last August, he said he is now seeing men with expansion up to 3 years.) You may not be happy with your size at first but do not despair. At 3 months post op you will see expansion, for me it was 1/2". Since my implant 10/08 I have gained back almost an inch and a half.
Anything else I can help with let me know.
Jack
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Double Handed Inflation Method
I have been getting several email lately from men having difficulty inflating there implant.
The AMS Double Handed Method is a great solution and I am posting a copy here.
From AMS
Enclosed is the standard User’s Guide for your general reference.
However, you may prefer to use both hands (left-hand thumb over right-hand thumb on front side of the inflate bulb, with left-hand index finger over right-hand index finger on back side of the bulb) to squeeze the inflate bulb HARD/FAST to “pop” the valve into the inflate position, rather than just using one hand on the inflate bulb. This method will stabilize the inflate bulb between your fingers and provide you with double the squeeze strength.
Be sure that after each complete squeeze of the inflate bulb, you relax your fingers and allow the bulb to refill. To give slight, partial squeezes will only increase greatly the number of squeezes you have to give the pump bulb because you’ll be pushing very little fluid into the cylinders with each little squeeze.
After the initial very HARD/FAST squeeze of the pump to activate it, each subsequent squeeze of the inflate bulb is done with firmness.
Follow the deflate instructions as shown in the AMS 700MS User’s Guide.
Best regards,
Elizabeth Rae
AMS/Worldwide Senior Patient Liaison
PH: 800-328-3881, ext. 6261
011609
USER TIP
Fully depress the inflation bulb and hold it for 3-4 seconds after it is depressed. Release your grip on it and wait 5-8 seconds while the bulb refills with saline solution from the reservoir. Repeat that process over and over until the desired firmness is achieved. A stinging sensation is noticeable as the corpora cavernosa is stretched tighter and tighter -- a sensation that will disappear over time.
Jack
Other Tips:
When you deflate the implant hold down the release button 4-6 seconds. Then squeeze your penis from the head to the base a few times. This gets most of the saline out and give you a more natural flaccid look, it also help with inflation the next time.
Friday, March 30, 2012
My Implant 3 1/2 Years Later
3 & ½ Years Later
I was at my local urologist for my check up yesterday. It has been 3 ½ years since he sent me to Dr. Milam at Vanderbilt. We chatted a while about the urethral puncture by another local doctor and then my progress to date.
Since I was hurt just before Thanksgiving getting hit while walking in a parking lot and having a ruptured disk he wanted to check the implant. At first he jokingly asked, “Do you get to use that thing”. I told him only 4 to 6 times a month.
He inflated my implant and was very pleased with the results and that it was not damaged when I was hit. I said something like peyronies did a number on me and he said you have had a great recovery.
My recovery has been a great gift from God. It restored the pleasure of marital sex that God intended for us to have. I fully believe that marital intercourse is a gift of pleasure from God.
I tell both men and women, yes I have women write me about their husbands, about my progress. All I asked for was a usable erection and with the skills of Dr. Milam and the staff at Vanderbilt I have so much more.
I don’t mind sharing my story and the results of my research. No I am not a doctor and am not any part of a doctor’s practice, hospital, or device manufacturer, just a layperson that has done tons of research and willing to share.
As we all know our penis is our pride and joy. In my case at 18 I was about 6”. At 50 I had gained weight and was about 5 ½”. That was just before peyronies struck. I lost a lot of length. At my stretch test just before my implant is was 4” on my best day. When my implant was activated I was measured at 4 ¼”, at my 3 month check up I was measured at 4 ¾” and at my one year check up just under 5”. At 18 months I had started to regain glands erections and was almost 5 ½”.
Last August I went back to Dr. Milam because of my bladder problems. I was sure I needed another TURP. I had a cystoscopy and Dr. Milam said I had an over active bladder and that another TURP was not in my future all I needed was Enablex. That has worked well for me.
During our conversation Dr. Milam and I discussed many things. One of his comments was he was now seeing men with expansion up to 3 years. When I got home I checked and sure enough I was just over 5 ½”.
I have learned many valuable things along my journey. The number one thing men need to know is the size of your penis does not make you a man. One day I asked the beautiful green-eyed girl I married is how does my penis feel to you now. (We have now been married over 43 years.) She said “Jack, you feel just the same as always.”
The first night home after my implant was activated I lay on my back with a hard penis sticking straight up. No Shots, No Pills, No VED and constriction ring. Just me!! I felt normal again for the first time in years.
The first several weeks with an implant there is a learning curve on using it. At one year I thought this is great how can it get better. Well it did. At 18 months my glands erections had returned. At 2 years I again thought it could not be better but again I was wrong. Today 3 ½ years my wife and I are like young lovers. I am 69 and she is 71. We have more fun now than when we first married.
My advice to any man needing an implant is do not use a general practice urologist. A Male Sexual Function / Urodynamic Specialist is the kind of doctor you need. If you have lost penile size, have peyronies or any related penile problem you need a doctor skilled in using the special instruments. For restoration of penile size the AMS 700 LGX is the only implant that expands in both length and girth. A good graphic is at www.amslgx.com/ To my knowledge there are only 3 or 4 doctors that have these skills so be prepared to travel. Those of us that have used Dr. Douglas Milam at Vanderbilt will tell you he is the best in the world.
Any one that has any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me. Plain language is fine with me, I am not offended.
Remember marital sex is Intended for Pleasure and a gift from God.
Jack
I was at my local urologist for my check up yesterday. It has been 3 ½ years since he sent me to Dr. Milam at Vanderbilt. We chatted a while about the urethral puncture by another local doctor and then my progress to date.
Since I was hurt just before Thanksgiving getting hit while walking in a parking lot and having a ruptured disk he wanted to check the implant. At first he jokingly asked, “Do you get to use that thing”. I told him only 4 to 6 times a month.
He inflated my implant and was very pleased with the results and that it was not damaged when I was hit. I said something like peyronies did a number on me and he said you have had a great recovery.
My recovery has been a great gift from God. It restored the pleasure of marital sex that God intended for us to have. I fully believe that marital intercourse is a gift of pleasure from God.
I tell both men and women, yes I have women write me about their husbands, about my progress. All I asked for was a usable erection and with the skills of Dr. Milam and the staff at Vanderbilt I have so much more.
I don’t mind sharing my story and the results of my research. No I am not a doctor and am not any part of a doctor’s practice, hospital, or device manufacturer, just a layperson that has done tons of research and willing to share.
As we all know our penis is our pride and joy. In my case at 18 I was about 6”. At 50 I had gained weight and was about 5 ½”. That was just before peyronies struck. I lost a lot of length. At my stretch test just before my implant is was 4” on my best day. When my implant was activated I was measured at 4 ¼”, at my 3 month check up I was measured at 4 ¾” and at my one year check up just under 5”. At 18 months I had started to regain glands erections and was almost 5 ½”.
Last August I went back to Dr. Milam because of my bladder problems. I was sure I needed another TURP. I had a cystoscopy and Dr. Milam said I had an over active bladder and that another TURP was not in my future all I needed was Enablex. That has worked well for me.
During our conversation Dr. Milam and I discussed many things. One of his comments was he was now seeing men with expansion up to 3 years. When I got home I checked and sure enough I was just over 5 ½”.
I have learned many valuable things along my journey. The number one thing men need to know is the size of your penis does not make you a man. One day I asked the beautiful green-eyed girl I married is how does my penis feel to you now. (We have now been married over 43 years.) She said “Jack, you feel just the same as always.”
The first night home after my implant was activated I lay on my back with a hard penis sticking straight up. No Shots, No Pills, No VED and constriction ring. Just me!! I felt normal again for the first time in years.
The first several weeks with an implant there is a learning curve on using it. At one year I thought this is great how can it get better. Well it did. At 18 months my glands erections had returned. At 2 years I again thought it could not be better but again I was wrong. Today 3 ½ years my wife and I are like young lovers. I am 69 and she is 71. We have more fun now than when we first married.
My advice to any man needing an implant is do not use a general practice urologist. A Male Sexual Function / Urodynamic Specialist is the kind of doctor you need. If you have lost penile size, have peyronies or any related penile problem you need a doctor skilled in using the special instruments. For restoration of penile size the AMS 700 LGX is the only implant that expands in both length and girth. A good graphic is at www.amslgx.com/ To my knowledge there are only 3 or 4 doctors that have these skills so be prepared to travel. Those of us that have used Dr. Douglas Milam at Vanderbilt will tell you he is the best in the world.
Any one that has any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me. Plain language is fine with me, I am not offended.
Remember marital sex is Intended for Pleasure and a gift from God.
Jack
Thursday, February 16, 2012
WHAT HAPPENS DURING IMPLANT SURGERY
There has been some debate on the peyronies society forum about what happens to the corpus cavernosum (CC) during penile implant (IPP) surgery. You may hear that the CC is removed among other things that are not true. To answer that question I sent an email to Todd Doran at Vanderbilt. Below is his responce.
This is one reason a man with peyronies or other penile damage should use a well qualified Male Sexual Function Specialist, not a general practice urologist. To my knowledge right now there are only 3 or 4 well qualified doctors for this procedure in the US.
The most common complaint from men with peyronies is loss of penile size. The only implant available to help restore this is the AMS 700 LGX length expanding implant.
Jack
February 15, 2012 11:28 PMFrom: "Doran, Todd James" to "Jack Pinner"
Tunica albuginea is an elastic thick fibrous outer covering of the erectile body and the inside are expansile sinusoids and collectively they are called the corpus cavernosum. We have a right and left one. Peyronie's disease can cause dysfunction, plaque, scarring of either the sinusoids or the tunica albuginea. Placement of IPP cylinders are more complex and tedious to perform in a man with PD. There are tools to dilate the sinusoids thereby causing their destruction through the dilating process. Sometimes we need to use cavertomes (resembles a cylindrical cheesegrater) that are extremely sharp. They are used to dilate/surgically cut open a space within the corpus cavernosum. The destruction of the architecture of the erectile bodies in order to place the inflatable cylinders are why you can't get an erection at all after an IPP. We don't remove any of the corpus cavernosum to place an IPP, we dilate and create a space to place the cylinders.
Feel free to place this on site verbatim.
Todd
Todd J. Doran, MS, PA-C
Associate in Urologic Surgery
Vanderbilt University
Dept of Urologic Surgery
A-1302 MCN
Nashville, TN 37232
615-322-2880
This is one reason a man with peyronies or other penile damage should use a well qualified Male Sexual Function Specialist, not a general practice urologist. To my knowledge right now there are only 3 or 4 well qualified doctors for this procedure in the US.
The most common complaint from men with peyronies is loss of penile size. The only implant available to help restore this is the AMS 700 LGX length expanding implant.
Jack
February 15, 2012 11:28 PMFrom: "Doran, Todd James" to "Jack Pinner"
Tunica albuginea is an elastic thick fibrous outer covering of the erectile body and the inside are expansile sinusoids and collectively they are called the corpus cavernosum. We have a right and left one. Peyronie's disease can cause dysfunction, plaque, scarring of either the sinusoids or the tunica albuginea. Placement of IPP cylinders are more complex and tedious to perform in a man with PD. There are tools to dilate the sinusoids thereby causing their destruction through the dilating process. Sometimes we need to use cavertomes (resembles a cylindrical cheesegrater) that are extremely sharp. They are used to dilate/surgically cut open a space within the corpus cavernosum. The destruction of the architecture of the erectile bodies in order to place the inflatable cylinders are why you can't get an erection at all after an IPP. We don't remove any of the corpus cavernosum to place an IPP, we dilate and create a space to place the cylinders.
Feel free to place this on site verbatim.
Todd
Todd J. Doran, MS, PA-C
Associate in Urologic Surgery
Vanderbilt University
Dept of Urologic Surgery
A-1302 MCN
Nashville, TN 37232
615-322-2880
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Norman's Feelings
This was posted by my friend Norman yesterday on the Impotance Group. With his permission I an adding it to my blog.
Good morning men,
Once again it is one of those times of year when the expression of love and
pro-creation is abundant in the world. I cringe and shake at times because the
accusation comes to mind that I am an outcast to these activities. The
previous past 4 years I continually descended into a deeper state of depression,
frustration, self pity, anguish and eventually torment.
I want to share a portion of an email I sent at the height of my depression when
I was looking for help. And I wantto share my first steps to a comeback.
*** 6/30/08 Heal my Perspective
I have suffered what I call dignity abuse. It is the assault of my self
perception. I am in search of seeing myself as whole and not broken. I have
many 'cut to the bone' experiences.
In this affliction I live a life hiding and fleeing all my days.
I have problems with concepts and statements like 'Live life to its fullest'.
I am exhausted and no longer trust hope. I am as a man that hides from a savage
wild beast. It see me and I see it.
Impotence is crushing me. It is killing me slowly. Has anyone had growth or
life to their withered blossom? Can you help me heal my perspective. It is
always from the torment of brokenness and never from the state of a good
beginning.
Hope has made me lie to myself. I fear accepting this because it is not the
real me. It is a disease or an affliction but it is not me. I have it but I
can't get rid of it. I am like a blind man who has sight for 15 seconds and
then returns to blindness.
How can I understand manhood and the natural use of the sex. For those of you
who have read the Bible. I am in distress as the man at the pool of Bethesda.
Someone always gets in before me and I have no one to truly help me. Year after
year I know, wait, and hope but in the end I am just unhealed and let down.
I don't know how to do this anymore. I need closure. Existing in the state of
continual trying is a sore evil and daily vexation. Help me escape the prison
of my mind. The scars of heart, the let downs and the mis understanding.
The initial joy when I see men who are whole; and then the sorrow for to me it
is withheld. Rejections, poverty, death- Nothing hurts me more than this.
If you have the power of truth-Please set me free.
***
12/24/2011 Perspective in Healing
Men we are more than the sum of our parts. Today I am reminded of Master Po.
A fictional character in a old Tv show called Kung Fu. Fully blind but every
other sense in his body was maxed out to its fullest. Hearing, smelling,
tasting, touching, mental prowess.
If he were able to see yet was impotent he would use all of his other senses to
live out and maintain a wonderful relationship. He would appreciate her beauty,
her scent, her voice, her person. He would caress her with tender love and he
would sexually stimulate her. He would hold her close and he would smile and
delight to be in her presence.
He would receive and give necking with all the joy of youth;as a boy reaching
first base. He would enjoy the tickling as she touched him, the hardness and
sensuality of their firm nipples with all the joy of a youth;as a boy reaching
second base.
She would stimulate him in the perineum and prostate if he had one. The massage
between the thigh and groin would ever so move him. He would stimulate her
clitoris and caress her vagina. He would receive this with all the joy of
youth; as a boy reaching third base.
Together they were fulfilled one climaxing bodily, one climaxing in the heart
both climaxing in spirit for the two are more than one part.! He would recieve
this with all the joy of youth; as a boy reaching fourth base.
***
Whether your impotence is temporary of permanent in physical ability. Follow
the example of Master Po and re align your perspective. Be not mis informed by
mis informed people. Often a NO is a Yes somewhere else.
It feels GREAT to be on the road to recovery. Both mentally and physically.
If I had a friend like the analogy of Master Po. I would have never wasted 4
years of my life and damaging 4 years with my wife. I could have been as the
joy of a youthful boy running around the bases!!!!
Try it. Allow it to happen. It's Truth.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,
I walk with you!
Norman
Good morning men,
Once again it is one of those times of year when the expression of love and
pro-creation is abundant in the world. I cringe and shake at times because the
accusation comes to mind that I am an outcast to these activities. The
previous past 4 years I continually descended into a deeper state of depression,
frustration, self pity, anguish and eventually torment.
I want to share a portion of an email I sent at the height of my depression when
I was looking for help. And I wantto share my first steps to a comeback.
*** 6/30/08 Heal my Perspective
I have suffered what I call dignity abuse. It is the assault of my self
perception. I am in search of seeing myself as whole and not broken. I have
many 'cut to the bone' experiences.
In this affliction I live a life hiding and fleeing all my days.
I have problems with concepts and statements like 'Live life to its fullest'.
I am exhausted and no longer trust hope. I am as a man that hides from a savage
wild beast. It see me and I see it.
Impotence is crushing me. It is killing me slowly. Has anyone had growth or
life to their withered blossom? Can you help me heal my perspective. It is
always from the torment of brokenness and never from the state of a good
beginning.
Hope has made me lie to myself. I fear accepting this because it is not the
real me. It is a disease or an affliction but it is not me. I have it but I
can't get rid of it. I am like a blind man who has sight for 15 seconds and
then returns to blindness.
How can I understand manhood and the natural use of the sex. For those of you
who have read the Bible. I am in distress as the man at the pool of Bethesda.
Someone always gets in before me and I have no one to truly help me. Year after
year I know, wait, and hope but in the end I am just unhealed and let down.
I don't know how to do this anymore. I need closure. Existing in the state of
continual trying is a sore evil and daily vexation. Help me escape the prison
of my mind. The scars of heart, the let downs and the mis understanding.
The initial joy when I see men who are whole; and then the sorrow for to me it
is withheld. Rejections, poverty, death- Nothing hurts me more than this.
If you have the power of truth-Please set me free.
***
12/24/2011 Perspective in Healing
Men we are more than the sum of our parts. Today I am reminded of Master Po.
A fictional character in a old Tv show called Kung Fu. Fully blind but every
other sense in his body was maxed out to its fullest. Hearing, smelling,
tasting, touching, mental prowess.
If he were able to see yet was impotent he would use all of his other senses to
live out and maintain a wonderful relationship. He would appreciate her beauty,
her scent, her voice, her person. He would caress her with tender love and he
would sexually stimulate her. He would hold her close and he would smile and
delight to be in her presence.
He would receive and give necking with all the joy of youth;as a boy reaching
first base. He would enjoy the tickling as she touched him, the hardness and
sensuality of their firm nipples with all the joy of a youth;as a boy reaching
second base.
She would stimulate him in the perineum and prostate if he had one. The massage
between the thigh and groin would ever so move him. He would stimulate her
clitoris and caress her vagina. He would receive this with all the joy of
youth; as a boy reaching third base.
Together they were fulfilled one climaxing bodily, one climaxing in the heart
both climaxing in spirit for the two are more than one part.! He would recieve
this with all the joy of youth; as a boy reaching fourth base.
***
Whether your impotence is temporary of permanent in physical ability. Follow
the example of Master Po and re align your perspective. Be not mis informed by
mis informed people. Often a NO is a Yes somewhere else.
It feels GREAT to be on the road to recovery. Both mentally and physically.
If I had a friend like the analogy of Master Po. I would have never wasted 4
years of my life and damaging 4 years with my wife. I could have been as the
joy of a youthful boy running around the bases!!!!
Try it. Allow it to happen. It's Truth.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,
I walk with you!
Norman
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
THE PHYSIOLOGICAL ASPECT
MEN OBSESS ABOUT OUR PENIS
I posted this on the Peyronies Society Fourm and it needs repeated here.
Re: She didn't notice
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2011, 09:47:33 AM » Quote Modify
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can I say something:
We guys obsess about our penis our ladies are just glad to be with us no matter what. Like I have told many a young man "The size of your penis does not make you a man."
The beautiful green eyed lady I have been married to for over 43 years, (no she is not blond), has been with me through all my journey with peyronies, ED, venous leakage, corporal fibrosis. Then a failed implant attempt. Now a successful implant. The one statement she made to me still brings a joy to my life. "Jack, I did not marry you for your penis." She was by my side through my journey.
I lost over 1 1/2" inches to peyronies. It concerned me but never bothered her. When I came out of surgery at Vanderbilt she had talked with Dr. Milam. I saw that gleam in those beautiful green eyes and knew all was well.
The first night I was home after my implant was activated I lay on my back with a hard on sticking straight up, no pills, no shots just me. I was still 1 1/2" shorter than before peyronies but it did not matter any more.
Over the last 3 years I have been able to gain about 90% of the loss back because of the skills of Dr. Milam and the LGX. I asked her how I felt sexually now to her than before. She told me she never noticed the difference I feel just the same as always.
Guys, we have to stop obsessing over our problems. The women that love us don't care about the size or shape of our penis. That is a man thing. They love us for the man we are.
I have had the privilege of talking with many men that had progressed to the stage with this mess I have. It takes time for implant surgery to heal. One single young man kept telling me I can't a girl will reject me, I can't I have lost too much size to satisfy her, just on and on. Well about 2 months ago he meet a young lady and it was love at first sight for her. One evening after a date he was with her and she started to try to get into his pants. He told he whoa! you need to know something. She asked what? He told her "I'm Bionic." She asked what did that mean, he briefly told her he had an implant. She told him I don't care I want you anyway.
That night he learned a couple of things. The fact he had an implant did not matter, the size of his penis did not matter, that he could satisfy her and he could go longer than any guy his age. Since then they have been almost constant companions.
What I am trying to say is we can not let this damn disease get us down. There is help and hope for all of us. Love the lady you are with and she will give you more than you ever expected. The most important thing is NEVER - EVER / NEVER - EVER / NEVER - EVER - EVER GIVE UP!!!!
Just my feeling this morning.
Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/
I posted this on the Peyronies Society Fourm and it needs repeated here.
Re: She didn't notice
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2011, 09:47:33 AM » Quote Modify
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can I say something:
We guys obsess about our penis our ladies are just glad to be with us no matter what. Like I have told many a young man "The size of your penis does not make you a man."
The beautiful green eyed lady I have been married to for over 43 years, (no she is not blond), has been with me through all my journey with peyronies, ED, venous leakage, corporal fibrosis. Then a failed implant attempt. Now a successful implant. The one statement she made to me still brings a joy to my life. "Jack, I did not marry you for your penis." She was by my side through my journey.
I lost over 1 1/2" inches to peyronies. It concerned me but never bothered her. When I came out of surgery at Vanderbilt she had talked with Dr. Milam. I saw that gleam in those beautiful green eyes and knew all was well.
The first night I was home after my implant was activated I lay on my back with a hard on sticking straight up, no pills, no shots just me. I was still 1 1/2" shorter than before peyronies but it did not matter any more.
Over the last 3 years I have been able to gain about 90% of the loss back because of the skills of Dr. Milam and the LGX. I asked her how I felt sexually now to her than before. She told me she never noticed the difference I feel just the same as always.
Guys, we have to stop obsessing over our problems. The women that love us don't care about the size or shape of our penis. That is a man thing. They love us for the man we are.
I have had the privilege of talking with many men that had progressed to the stage with this mess I have. It takes time for implant surgery to heal. One single young man kept telling me I can't a girl will reject me, I can't I have lost too much size to satisfy her, just on and on. Well about 2 months ago he meet a young lady and it was love at first sight for her. One evening after a date he was with her and she started to try to get into his pants. He told he whoa! you need to know something. She asked what? He told her "I'm Bionic." She asked what did that mean, he briefly told her he had an implant. She told him I don't care I want you anyway.
That night he learned a couple of things. The fact he had an implant did not matter, the size of his penis did not matter, that he could satisfy her and he could go longer than any guy his age. Since then they have been almost constant companions.
What I am trying to say is we can not let this damn disease get us down. There is help and hope for all of us. Love the lady you are with and she will give you more than you ever expected. The most important thing is NEVER - EVER / NEVER - EVER / NEVER - EVER - EVER GIVE UP!!!!
Just my feeling this morning.
Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/
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