Norman's Feelings

This was posted by my friend Norman yesterday on the Impotance Group. With his permission I an adding it to my blog.

Good morning men,


Once again it is one of those times of year when the expression of love and
pro-creation is abundant in the world. I cringe and shake at times because the
accusation comes to mind that I am an outcast to these activities. The
previous past 4 years I continually descended into a deeper state of depression,
frustration, self pity, anguish and eventually torment.

I want to share a portion of an email I sent at the height of my depression when
I was looking for help. And I wantto share my first steps to a comeback.


*** 6/30/08 Heal my Perspective

I have suffered what I call dignity abuse. It is the assault of my self
perception. I am in search of seeing myself as whole and not broken. I have
many 'cut to the bone' experiences.
In this affliction I live a life hiding and fleeing all my days.

I have problems with concepts and statements like 'Live life to its fullest'.
I am exhausted and no longer trust hope. I am as a man that hides from a savage
wild beast. It see me and I see it.

Impotence is crushing me. It is killing me slowly. Has anyone had growth or
life to their withered blossom? Can you help me heal my perspective. It is
always from the torment of brokenness and never from the state of a good
beginning.

Hope has made me lie to myself. I fear accepting this because it is not the
real me. It is a disease or an affliction but it is not me. I have it but I
can't get rid of it. I am like a blind man who has sight for 15 seconds and
then returns to blindness.

How can I understand manhood and the natural use of the sex. For those of you
who have read the Bible. I am in distress as the man at the pool of Bethesda.
Someone always gets in before me and I have no one to truly help me. Year after
year I know, wait, and hope but in the end I am just unhealed and let down.

I don't know how to do this anymore. I need closure. Existing in the state of
continual trying is a sore evil and daily vexation. Help me escape the prison
of my mind. The scars of heart, the let downs and the mis understanding.

The initial joy when I see men who are whole; and then the sorrow for to me it
is withheld. Rejections, poverty, death- Nothing hurts me more than this.

If you have the power of truth-Please set me free.


***

12/24/2011 Perspective in Healing

Men we are more than the sum of our parts. Today I am reminded of Master Po.
A fictional character in a old Tv show called Kung Fu. Fully blind but every
other sense in his body was maxed out to its fullest. Hearing, smelling,
tasting, touching, mental prowess.

If he were able to see yet was impotent he would use all of his other senses to
live out and maintain a wonderful relationship. He would appreciate her beauty,
her scent, her voice, her person. He would caress her with tender love and he
would sexually stimulate her. He would hold her close and he would smile and
delight to be in her presence.

He would receive and give necking with all the joy of youth;as a boy reaching
first base. He would enjoy the tickling as she touched him, the hardness and
sensuality of their firm nipples with all the joy of a youth;as a boy reaching
second base.

She would stimulate him in the perineum and prostate if he had one. The massage
between the thigh and groin would ever so move him. He would stimulate her
clitoris and caress her vagina. He would receive this with all the joy of
youth; as a boy reaching third base.

Together they were fulfilled one climaxing bodily, one climaxing in the heart
both climaxing in spirit for the two are more than one part.! He would recieve
this with all the joy of youth; as a boy reaching fourth base.

***

Whether your impotence is temporary of permanent in physical ability. Follow
the example of Master Po and re align your perspective. Be not mis informed by
mis informed people. Often a NO is a Yes somewhere else.

It feels GREAT to be on the road to recovery. Both mentally and physically.
If I had a friend like the analogy of Master Po. I would have never wasted 4
years of my life and damaging 4 years with my wife. I could have been as the
joy of a youthful boy running around the bases!!!!


Try it. Allow it to happen. It's Truth.


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

I walk with you!


Norman